my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
