When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
