i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
