it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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