The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Randomize
