At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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