okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Randomize
