On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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