Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
People in love make me want to vomit
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
