Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
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