Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Just pee around me
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
