Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
