mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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