god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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