so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
