is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
