In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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