just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
