so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
