I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
