Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Green mimosas i think yes
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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