nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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