apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
