I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
