It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
