i permit you to call me
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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