I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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