yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I believe in your delicious
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
