Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
