Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
