I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
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