did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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