Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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