He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
