Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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