Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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