Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
