Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
