Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
