You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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