when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize