it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
