On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
