How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
The air was thick with penises
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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