We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize