We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
