ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Who died my cat blue again?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
