so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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