I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
