clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
