are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
