just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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