porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
