I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
