So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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