"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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