I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Randomize
