Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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