She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
