we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
