Michael Bay diarrhea
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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