I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
