Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
