I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
