I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Little spoons don't ask big questions
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
