Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
