how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
love makes seman taste better
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize