I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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