No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
