I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize