I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize