Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
