Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
